Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-I took the one less traveled, And that has made all the difference.”
One of the reasons that I believe that God had me start this blog was that it was a way for me to release my heart’s inner turmoil. It’s a way for me to release confusion and grief. It is a grief process that we go through when dreams that we have invested so much in seem to have been lost. A broken heart takes time to heal and it cannot be rushed. It is a process.
God wrote. He wrote the Bible through other people by telling them to write and them being obedient and just sitting down and writing what He told them to write. He inspired other people thousands of years ago to write things in the Bible that He knew that my eyes needed to read and that my ears needed to hear in order for me to heal. His Word tells me that if I was the only one on this earth that He still would have sent Jesus to die for me and then rescue only me.
That is what I was in need of the most, rescuing. I needed a plan; I needed to be let out of the dungeon of confusion. That confusion consisted of me turning around in circles and never knowing which direction to go in. Being blown around like a feather in the wind because I had no direction. Now I have direction. That direction is to get the message out of His redemption in my life. Not in the traditional, legalistic way, but in other ways that will speak to someone who may not understand or who may be turned off by tradition like I was.
I am not going to quote any scripture today. I’m not writing a sermon here. I am just writing a message from my heart to the hearts of whoever reads this. To your heart, whoever you are. I don’t think it is completely necessary to quote every scripture that I know all the time. It’s all in my heart.
My life is relatively normal. As normal as normal can be when there really is not a normal. I have been married to a peaceful Christian man for almost 15 years; I live a peaceable, quiet life. I am a Christian. At some point in time I stopped placing value on material things. I do my best not to judge other people or act in a judgmental way because I have been hurt by judgments more than anything else in my life. Judgments by family, the “church”, peers, so-called friends and even myself. Maybe I have been harsher on myself than any other person.
My husband and I made a mutual decision to get rid of our TV about 5 years ago because it wasted so much of our time. In no way was the decision made with any religious convictions in mind. We have a computer though and I can clearly navigate my way around it and get all of the information and entertainment that I need from it.
I can see where a lot of people especially my adult children may think that this is a little abnormal being that they were reared in the world and at the point of their rearing I was still desperately trying to fit into America’s idea of society. EvieJo trying to fit into American society was somewhat like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. As life has gone on I gradually went from desperately trying to fit in to half-heartedly trying to fit in to not really feeling any need to fit in anymore. I guess the only time that I really care about not fitting in is when I am in a part of town where everyone is driving their newest SUV’s and I pull up to a red light with one (brand new SUV) on each side and I am in my 8 year little car that has a dent in the side because I scraped it on a pole (two different times in the same place) and I haven’t felt the need to get it fixed because I don’t want to risk my insurance going up. That feeling is fleeting though and then I look at reality again and I am glad that I don’t have to worry any more about trying to maintain an “image”.
If all God uses this blog for is to continue my healing then that is alright. What would be even better would be if He were to use it to help in the healing of other people. Not because of my own selfish writing but because of things that He dropped into my spirit as I was writing knowing that the words would flow out of the tips of my fingers and into someone else’s heart someday. He can do that you know. He can do anything.