How do you deal with your past mistakes?
Our pasts. We all handle our past differently. If anyone is looking for a way to change their past they are never going to find it. What is done is done and nothing can change it. Back to serenity 101 we ask God to grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. That is very hard for me when I look at decisions that I have made and I can’t find anyone to blame them on but myself. We do, however, all have the option to take advantage of our past experiences to learn how to live a better life now and in the future and that is when it takes the “courage to change the things I can”. Our future is something that we can change. Our self is someone whom we can change.
The past will try to come back to haunt us. That is why it is very important to deal with it properly and learn what we need to learn from it in order to be able to live a more balanced life.
I cannot escape the past. I can move beyond it by deliberately thinking out my decisions and by slowing down my reactions. I can learn to examine my motives.
One way I have tried to escape my past is by running away from it and acting as if the bad stuff did not have any effect on me. I thank God that I never was able to deny or lie about anything when confronted with the truth. Another tactic that I unconsciously used to deal with the past was that I would bottle the bad feelings up and not deal with them, I then would become depressed and not know what was wrong or go into rages over the simplest things and after the dust settled would not be able to pinpoint the reason I had gone into the rage in the first place.
I have seen many people I know handle their pasts in self-destructive ways. There is one family member I have seen who will not take responsibility for his past actions, instead he blames the person who caught him doing the wrong things and who had him arrested. This is a form of denial. When you blame other people for your blatant actions you don’t have to deal with your past in a repentant way. The past stays there in front of you and never gets put behind you.
I have a family member who has moved to a different geographical location to try to escape their past. I have also tried to do this in years gone by but the fact is that the things that need to be dealt with still exist no matter how far we try to run. The people whom we have hurt or been hurt by still exist and the hurts still exist.
Another form of denial…..denying that anything bad ever happened to you or that you have ever done anything bad. That way if they think anything into nonexistence then surely there is nothing to deal with. Wrong!
Then there is the proverbial person who when they are guilty of anything they quickly point their finger at someone who loves them and wants to help them. They point out their loved one’s real and imagined wrongs. The guiltier the accuser is, the louder they yell about the other person’s faults.
I personally believe that trying to escape the past is a reason that lots of crimes are committed, but no crime, not murder, thievery or anything in between will change the past. Any attempt at removing the evidence of our pasts will just complicate the present and alter the future in a negative way.
I can never be completely prepared for everything that life may throw at me. In the Bible, Ephesians 6 tells us that our battle is not against flesh and blood. The darkness out there that does not want me to succeed or overcome my past failures will try to trip me up at every turn. I study the Bible because it is full of instruction on how to be victorious in our battle against darkness. The Bible gives me practical instructions about how I can change my physical reactions and decisions based on the experience of my mistakes in the past. God wants us to win. If we win, He wins.
There are ways that one can change their life in order to better deal with the ups and downs of living. I call it RECOVERY. I am also coming to terms with my past by reading,
studying and writing. God has used a plethora of avenues for my own recovery. Not just one. He is using the personal giftings that He has given me to heal me. There are many Bible studies available that will navigate you through the Bible in seeking healing. There are also many books that you can read that will help. Other people’s testimonies are huge. I also endorse any Twelve Step program. If you are reading this, I know that you can navigate yourself around the internet pretty well. There is so much info online. Just start “googling” whatever it is that strikes your curiosity on this subject. I am certain that God will lead you to exactly what you need.
Make no mistake, please. Dealing with your past in a healthy way that is right for you is vitally important. Turning it all over to God is the first step and He will guide you in the best direction that is tailor made for you.
Love and Blessings to you….maybe our paths will cross someday while “Climbing the Mountains”.