When I first realized that nobody in my life was seeing a need to change and that I was going to have to pick up that baton and run with it on my own, I was introduced to Al Anon. Even in Al Anon when first confronted with what it is going to take to change and with that sinking feeling inside my heart that nothing I had ever tried had worked, I was a little discouraged. I would sit and listen to people talking about who they were and who they had become and compare myself and the mess I was in to who they were presenting themselves as.
I would look at the twelve steps and think…..can I ever really accomplish all of these???? One day someone read the “twelve promises” in a meeting and a light turned on in my heart. I asked, “These things will really happen if I actually work the program?”. It was the twelve promises that finally cinched it for me. They let me know that I had to try to run the race of recover because I possessed none of them at the time.
The 12 Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous
(THESE ARE FOUND IN MY COPY OF THE BIG BOOK PGS. 83-84)
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
(1) We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
(2) We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
(3) We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
(4) No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
(5) That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
(6) We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
(7) Self-seeking will slip away.
(8) Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
(9) Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
(10) We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
(11) We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
(12) Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
These were the ray of hope, the prizes that I needed to know were waiting for me at the end of the race. Or should I say at the top of the highest mountain or the base of that final mountain? I possessed none of them on the day that I first read them and #9 to me seemed to be the most unattainable for me and has proved itself to be just that. Its good to know that I will eventually accomplish it and that I am much more at peace with those fears now than I was at one time in my life.
I will close for now, this blog is not about me but about recovery and the sharing of my quest to accomplish recovery for my own life (my experience, strength and hope).
Love and Blessings to you!