Domestic Violence-A Mountain to Climb (part 2)

He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives

Isaiah 61

Hello, folks!

Domestic violence is not a pretty subject and one that many of us would probably be domestic violence awarenesssatisfied with sweeping under the rug.  Honestly, it is something that I wish I could sweep under the rug, but the fact is that I will not ignore it because it is a fact of life and effects many people in all walks of life!

Think about this, every time a mother is abused by her partner, she is not the only one who is hurt.  The behavior of the abuser is reinforced and the children that witness it are traumatized and they catalogue the behavior that they have witnessed to be a part of the development of their own life skills in the future.

Yes, the woman suffers, but I honestly believe that the children are the ones who suffer the most.  Much of the suffering that the children do is long range.  I will cover some of that in a later blog entry.

For this reason, I am focusing on the subject for a while until I exhaust  the information that I feel that I am supposed to give on this very important subject.

domestic violence2I know this is a Christian blog and that the majority of blogs that are directed towards Christian women are going in the directions that pertain to women who are operating in freedom with subjects such as cooking, shopping frugally, being an excellent mommy, bible studies, commentaries, etc. These blogs are wonderful and there is a place for them.

There is also a place for women who need help and that is why I mix some of my difficult material with yours, because, even if you do not have the need to be rescued or delivered from a horrendous situation, I believe that in your areas of ministering to women, which many of you obviously have a heart for, you are going to run into women who are in horrendous situation .  Believe it or not they are all around you.  Most of the time they are suffering silently with plastic smiles plastered on their faces and hiding their wounds and bruises.  If you are in ministry, you will meet victims of domestic violence and unless you want their “blood” on your hands, you will need to reach out a helpful hand to them.

Below are 3 checklists….these checklists have been put together by professionals and can viewed if you click this link.

Go over these characteristics for emotional, physical and sexual relationships in order to educate yourself.


You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:

  • Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
  • Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
  • Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
  • Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
  • Does not want you to work.
  • Controls finances or refuses to share money.
  • Punishes you by withholding affection.
  • Expects you to ask permission.
  • Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
  • Humiliates you in any way.

You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:

  • Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
  • Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
  • Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
  • Scared you by driving recklessly.
  • Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
  • Forced you to leave your home.
  • Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.
  • Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
  • Hurt your children.
  • Used physical force in sexual situations.

You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:

  • Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
  • Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
  • Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
  • Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
  • Has ever forced or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts.
  • Held you down during sex.
  • Demanded sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you.
  • Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex.
  • Involved other people in sexual activities with you.
  • Ignored your feelings regarding sex.


Anonymous and
Confidential Help 24/7:
1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
1.800.787.3224 (TTY)

I will close for today.

Love and blessings to you!



About Rhonda

Let me introduce myself to you who may not know who I am...I am an artist, writer, blogger, born again follower of Jesus Christ (I pursue Him on an ongoing basis with passion), I am a recovering codependent, survivor of childhood and adulthood domestic violence, an empty nester who still has a LOT of life to live and a LOT more places to go before I stop, the wife to Mr. John, mother, grandmother and I have a passion for being a part of the process of getting preschoolers ready for the rest of their lives! I have probably left something out but that's ok.
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2 Responses to Domestic Violence-A Mountain to Climb (part 2)

  1. Becca says:

    Sad to think of all those who feel trapped in the above situations. My heart breaks for those women… Thanks for posting this in hopes of reaching those who need it.

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