Betrayal and Trust

forgivebetrayal1 Two different things…

…and yet they walk hand in hand.

Without trust there would never be a betrayal.

One of the saddest things about betrayal is that it never comes from our enemies. Betrayal comes from those who we trust…our loved ones, lovers, families, closest friends.

When I place my trust in someone, I place my trust in the belief that they are reliable, good and honest in their dealings with me. I give them the same thing in being reliable, good and honest in my dealings with them.

It is not very likely that we will be betrayed by someone whom we do not trust because we will be careful in our dealings and conversations with them.

On the other hand, when I do choose to trust people, the likelihood that I will be betrayed at some time in my life is greatly increased.

When a husband or wife is betrayed with lies, the spouse receives that betrayal as if it were him/her who was betrayed.

Have you ever been betrayed?forgivebetrayal2

Have you ever betrayed someone?

When one is betrayed or if one betrays, the fallout from the action causes devastation among all parties involved.

If one is betrayed it is because they once trusted.  They never thought that the betrayer would expose them to humiliation like they have done whether it be a lie that the betrayer told or the revealing of a secret truth that was whispered in confidence.

If one betrays could it be because they have no moral standards?  Maybe they don’t value relationships.  Maybe they don’t consider being trustworthy important.  Maybe they intentionally want to hurt the one whom they betray or they place no value on their relationship with the betrayed.

Whatever the reason or whoever you are, whatever side that you may fall on…betrayal also injures.  It injures both individuals.  Sometimes it injures entire families because many people’s lives are changed.  Betrayals can cause long-standing, maybe lifetime feuds.

A betrayal, especially if it is a lie, can ruin the reputation of someone in an entire community and then it is called libel or slander.

Betrayal leaves an aftermath of hurt and devastation that has to be repaired.

Once a betrayal takes place, it is guaranteed that things in the relationship(s) will never be the same.

There can be steps taken to repair the relationships, though.

The injured party has to forgive the person who injured them, not so much for the sake of the betrayer but for himself.  It is the only way to insure that he/she will not become bitter.  It is the only way that he/she will be able to get on with his/her life.

Sometimes the betrayer will have second thoughts and try to justify why they did what they did or try to wheedle their way back into the life of the person they betrayed.

Other times the betrayer will decide that the relationship is over and they will never try to right what has been wronged.

Here are two New Testament examples:

When Jesus was arrested by the authorities to be crucified he was betrayed by one of His handpicked apostles, Judas, for a mere 30 pieces of silver.   The same night that He was arrested, he was betrayed by another one of his handpicked disciples, Peter, who denied that he even knew Jesus, not once but three times.

Both of these occurrences were very serious betrayals, afterwards each betrayer handled his actions differently.  Judas tried to return the 30 pieces of silver after he really realized what he had done and then just gave up with self-condemnation and committed suicide by hanging himself in “The field of blood”.  It was over for him, nothing was ever resolved.

On the other hand, Peter, who denied Jesus three times after He was arrested, did not give up, he wept, he followed Jesus to the end and when Jesus was resurrected and had overcome death, they talked about it, Peter worked through it, Jesus had forgiven him.  Peter went on to become a mighty man of God, a Jesus follower to be trusted with many more things by God.

Those of us who have betrayed, we must try to make things right face to face with the person who we have betrayed.  We cannot stick our heads in the sand.  It has to be worked through.

It is the duty of the betrayer to take the initiative to right the relationship.

forgivebetrayalJesus gave us very explicit instructions on how to handle ourselves if we have “ought against our brother”.  We are to go straight to our brother, not to everyone else except our brother.  Talk it through before we make up our minds and condemn.

If you have betrayed someone, more than likely the betrayed one already knows all that you did and said against them.  If they are a Jesus follower, they are waiting for you to come and make it right in a peaceful manner.

There are many true stories of betrayal in the Bible.  Some with good outcomes and others with very bad endings.

Betrayal is a horrible, hurtful occurrence no matter which side we are on.  Don’t let your outcome be a bad one.  Let your story be one of victory.

Love and blessings,

Godspeed,

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About Rhonda

Let me introduce myself to you who may not know who I am...I am an artist, writer, blogger, born again follower of Jesus Christ (I pursue Him on an ongoing basis with passion), I am a recovering codependent, survivor of childhood and adulthood domestic violence, an empty nester who still has a LOT of life to live and a LOT more places to go before I stop, the wife to Mr. John, mother, grandmother and I have a passion for being a part of the process of getting preschoolers ready for the rest of their lives! I have probably left something out but that's ok.
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7 Responses to Betrayal and Trust

  1. What a perfect post, EvieJo!! Thank you for sharing!

  2. excellent thoughts… thank you for sharing them!

  3. Cami says:

    Well I can honestly say I have been on both sides of betrayal and understand that sometimes one can be so caught up or blindsided with circumstances they don’t take into account the other persons feelings, almost as if there are blinders on their eyes. The enemy is walking back and forth in the earth seeking whom he may devour. Sometimes these blinders may come in the form of drugs or alcohol. Many betrayals happen under the influence of some type of mind altering substance. I sometimes wonder how Judas must have felt after betraying Jesus. He was so caught up in his selfish desires of the moment, that he didn’t think about the aftermath. I have many times understood Judas’ suicide, as being the one to betray someone you love myself, I am very familiar with the pain and agony that comes with the torment that comes against you, while walking daily trying to forgive yourself and accept forgiveness. For me personally, it is hardest watching someone else suffer that you love, knowing that it is a result of a betrayal that came from your own doing. Fact of the matter is we can’t go back and change the way we handled situations once we come to the realization that we were wrong, but we can allow God to heal and restore rather than going farther into the enemies plan, as Judas did in committing suicide. Not only can God forgive us and restore us, but He can prepare others hearts to receive His forgiveness and healing and enable them to forgive you! I am thankful for that! This can be a process as you open your heart to God and allow him to dig out your hurts, hopes and dreams that have been crushed under the rubble of all the storms in life you have walked through. But God is here to walk you through it, help dig it up, pull it out and fill the empty holes with His love and fullness of joy which makes us strong!!! I have been betrayed and I have betrayed. They are both hard to recover from on your own, I would go as far as to say impossible really. But with God, ALL things are possible!!! Thank YOU God!!!!

    • EvieJo says:

      All of what you say is true, Cami, and you know for sure that this is why Jesus made a way for all of us. Betrayal no matter which side we are on is a ploy of the enemy to destroy all parties involved. To destroy our hearts and souls and make it impossible for us to ever experience the peace that is ready for us to grasp. I, too, have betrayed and been betrayed, I am so thankful that God through His Son extended His hand to me and patiently waited for me to reach out and grasp it. Now we walk hand in hand, together and I know you walk with Him, also. That’s why this message needs to be heard by all. Love you!

  4. Cami says:

    Profound though, that an inability to trust can coincide with a previous betrayal…….God please restore our ability to trust in Jesus name!

  5. EvieJo,

    I have also been on both sides of this, and I know the anguish and despair that result. The enemy is so out to destroy relationships, because that is the core of who we are and why we were created — to have relationship, ultimately with our Father God, but also with each other. And the devil hates it!

    Carrying the weight of betrayal, no matter which side you are on, is horrible. I am so thankful for the grace and mercy of God and the work of Jesus Christ that enables us to move forward in forgiveness and healing.

    Thanks for sharing, for being open and honest about this painful subject.

    Blessings,
    Selena

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