considering Identity, a very personal thing

identityWhat does identity mean in the life of a person?  A man?  A woman?


Where is your identity?

What is identity?

When I say identity right now I am speaking of the identity of an individual.  Meaning who a person is, their qualities, their beliefs, what makes them different from everybody else.

Is identity important?

Our identity is very important.  It is important to each of us as individuals to know who we are, what qualities we have, what our personal giftings are.

Many women, myself included, think that what we do is our identity.  We also judge others’ identities as to what they do or have done.  Oh, “she is a stay at home mom”, “oh she is a legal assistant”, “oh she is a drug addict”, “secretary”,  “bad mom”, “good mom”, “missionary”, “Jesus freak”, “blogger”, “facebook addict”,  “whore”, “thief”, “drunk driver”, “so-in-so’s wife”, “so-in-so’s mother” etc. etc. etc.

Yes, these things are truly things that people identify us by but our true identity has absolutely nothing to do with what we do, our true identity is who we are!  Our identity is who God (the ultimate creator) created us to be!

I never realized that I had not acknowledged or recognized my true identity until less than a year ago.  It was when we arrived at the mission agency that we spent several months training with that I admitted it to myself.  For our first day of class we were told to bring something tangible that we could hold up and say represented our identity.  I immediately decided that since I had begun this journey of blogging I would bring my computer and speak of the accomplishments of my blog.  So, that is what I did.

As I began talking I started hearing the hollowness of my voice and tears started coming and my face started turning all shades of hot.  I started stumbling around with my words and quickly realized that in my own heart, all I was, was a failure because the thing that I had set out to do as my life goal many years ago had become such a disastrous failure.

The key words here are that I had set out to do this as my life goal.  God had not set it out for me to accomplish.

That thing that I had set out to do as my life goal was to be the perfect mother so that my kids would never abandon me and the way that I saw it is that I had failed miserably.  I had tried to achieve the perfect results with 3 generations and still was not getting it right.  I had finally faced the fact that I could not continue to try to get it right.  There comes a time in all of our lives when we have to face the facts that we are just too old to try our mothering skills out again on another generation.  I finally understood and gave up.

Now, I realize that the belief that I had about myself in my own heart was not the truth.  It identity2was a lie that I had bought into and was holding onto.  I understand now that I nor anyone else in this fallen world can be a perfect anything because perfect people do not exist.  We are all imperfect people who are blindly trying to find our way, some of us a little blinder than others.

In other words, I knew in my head what God said about me.  I knew in my head that I had been created to be much more than the box that I had placed myself in.  My intellect knew a lot, I am a fairly intelligent woman but…

None of my intellectual knowledge had infiltrated my heart… yet.  I had not embraced the truth with my heart.

My point is this, our identity is very important and is quite often interpreted by us as what we do or have accomplished.  My identity and my accomplishments, yes, are related to one another but still 2 very different things.

When God created us he gave us gifts.  He also gave us desires.  And then along with the gifts and desires that He gives us, when we make the choice to become His, He puts His seal on us.  So through life, we have these three things to look at and get into perspective.  Actually we don’t have to do anything to get them into perspective; all we have to do is give Him the freedom to line our hearts up with His perspective of what He created us for.

identity1I am so thankful that I am learning this now even though I really wish that I had learned it at a much younger age.

“Christ came to reestablish our identity, showing us what it means to be fully alive as a human—how to live on earth as we were intended to live—a life of complete dependence on the Father.” A Million Little Ways by Emily Freeman.

Now this quote does not mean that we are sitting down at the feet of the Father, or Jesus, leaning on His legs doing nothing at all.  What it means is that “a life of complete dependence on the Father” is us awakening to the gifts that He has placed on us.  The gifts and desires that He whispered into being before we were ever in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139).  Those giftings and desires are the ones that He wants you and I to be operating in.  Those gifts and desires are the ones where we will find that sweet place of communion and communication that we have never known before, but have always craved.

When we start operating in the giftings that He has placed in/on us is when we start seeing who we are.  This is when we start coming into the full understanding of our identity.

We don’t have to be rich, poor, the kids don’t have to be at a certain age or grown.  The greatest gift that a mother can give her children is to be operating in her giftings throughout her life while fulfilling her “God-given” responsibilities as a mother.

Sometimes the things that we set out to do, the goals that we set for ourselves backfire on us.  God does not make them backfire, but He allows them to backfire.  Why does He allow them to backfire?  Because He has a different, better plan.  He wants us to see something brand-new in ourselves that is not really brand-new at all because it has been His plan all along.

So…there is not any way that I can finish what I want to say in a post today, it would be tooidentity3 long winded and would quickly lose your interest.  I am going to be writing more about this, though, because it has really been laid on my heart recently, because of my own personal experiences.  I really want others to get this!  It is such an important aspect to our own personal fulfillment!

What do YOU think?  Where are you in your own search for identity?  Are you in touch with YOUR identity?

Love and blessings to you!



About Rhonda

Let me introduce myself to you who may not know who I am...I am an artist, writer, blogger, born again follower of Jesus Christ (I pursue Him on an ongoing basis with passion), I am a recovering codependent, survivor of childhood and adulthood domestic violence, an empty nester who still has a LOT of life to live and a LOT more places to go before I stop, the wife to Mr. John, mother, grandmother and I have a passion for being a part of the process of getting preschoolers ready for the rest of their lives! I have probably left something out but that's ok.
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10 Responses to considering Identity, a very personal thing

  1. Cami says:

    well said, it has been my prayer for years to see people the way God sees them, and for others to see me the way God sees me. It is so easy to swing in and out of this way of thinking. It is my prayer to be constant in my identity in Christ and in seeing others the way Christ sees them!!!! Also to be knowledgeable of and develop my God given talents and gifting’s. Blessings!

  2. terry morgan says:

    Enjoyed visiting from the Missional Women link-up… may God use your honest vulnerability and strong truth to bless many others!

  3. Wendy says:

    Oh, so good to learn and remember these things. Thank you for reminding me…I’ll look forward to future posts about this subject because I’ll doubtless need more reminders.
    Missing you guys.

  4. Hi EvieJo,

    I’m hopping over from Ann’s link up to count gifts with you. I think one gift is the truth of what you are starting to talk about right here: that our identity isn’t in our failures or perceived losses of life goals (not in our parenting, or marriages, or jobs, etc.). Thank you. It’s in who Jesus says we are, and that changes everything!

    Thanks for your honesty here. Nice to meet you,
    Jennifer Dougan

    What mission was it that you mentioned?

    • EvieJo says:

      Jennifer, we just finished some training with an international missions agency. I respect the anonymity of the agency in order to protect some of the missionaries, because they have bases set up in many closed countries ithroughout the world. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments and I am so glad that you visited! 🙂

  5. Beth says:

    Just read your identity post…very good! It is so hard to keep it straight. I will get it straightened out in my mind, but it needs to sink deep into my heart 🙂 Funny thing…David and I are going to an I.D. Seminar at church this Friday & Saturday. Perfect timing for reading this! Love you!!!

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