In the past week I have started four posts. With each new beginning I have gotten so deeply into the content of the post that I would turn my computer off at the end of the day fully intending to edit and post the next day.
Each morning, I have turned my computer on with the intention to edit and get my post ready but after reading what I have written, I have realized that all of the thoughts, ideas and content were very fragmented and repetitive. So much so that I have decided each time to start a brand new post.
This has been very frustrating.
I started thinking and quickly came to the conclusion that right now my life is feeling a little fragmented.
Well…Mr. Joe and I have been very, very busy. We have been packing and talking about packing.
We have been posting things on facebook to sell or give away.
We have stacks of things to give away. We are taking stacks of things out to the dumpster. Then there is a growing stack of boxes that is ready to move. The amount of things that we have accumulated in 2 years amazes me.
I am so thankful that we have had the time to do all of this packing and sorting because I do not operate under stress very well anymore. It tends to shut me down instead of motivate me. I don’t think I have ever operated under stress very well but when I was younger I would just go into what I call “automatic drive mode”. The older I get the rustier my “automatic drive mode” gets.
We have gotten a lot accomplished and it is good. The date the moving truck pulls out of the driveway is November 22…Colorado bound!
I now have a schedule in my mind of the order that I am going to go in to accomplish the rest of my tasks. The 2 walk-in closets get conquered this week and next week the kitchen. The next week will be all of the other loose ends, which, honestly, should not be too many.
On one hand, I am looking so forward to this move! I have really, really wanted to leave Texas for a long time and it is now happening! If the climate here was different, I would probably be ok with living here for the rest of my life, but I have never been able to adjust to the constant heavy humidity, instant weather changes in the atmosphere or the unpredictable heat. The older I get, the less tolerant I am.
I don’t want to leave anything undone, though…
Among other things, there has still been this niggling in the back of mind that has been asking me every once in a while if my time here is really finished. I quickly realize that this concern is unfounded.
I have wondered if, perhaps, I am still needed here by anyone but I know in my heart that I am not.
God can accomplish the things that He wants to accomplish without me being around to direct Him or get in the way of what He’s doing. Anyone who once depended on my care is fully capable of functioning on their own. I am not required to rear someone else’s children.
This knowledge is very freeing on my end because of the places that I come from and the places where I have been in my relationships with my family.
Isn’t the concept of the passage of time puzzling? When I have wished for something, like a vacation or the anticipation of seeing someone who I haven’t seen in a long time, it does not pass quickly enough, but with all of these things so readily on my mind time is almost passing too quickly.
The world keeps revolving , it doesn’t stop for any of us to board or disembark.
Children are born, they become adults.
Life goes on, no matter which directions we choose to go in or whose directions we choose to follow.
If we refuse to do the task, someone else comes along who will do it.
God has called Mr. Joe and I. That doesn’t mean we are any more special than the next one. It means that He is giving us an opportunity. If we decided not to make the move, I don’t think we would be punished or condemned. I just don’t want to miss the adventure that He has invited us to be a part of. His adventures are always, always the best!
Because He has called, I trust Him with the entire unknown.
Every single bit of it.
He has never failed me.
Love and blessings!