First of all, about 3 weeks ago I finally faced the fact that I was really “burnt out”. I had been trying to do too much. I had taken on more than what I could handle and was getting frustrated and exhausted. I had gotten to that point in a very short amount of time.
Second thing is that I was so busy doing things and fulfilling responsibilities that I had taken on that I no longer had the time or energy to do the things that God had recently shown me were “life-giving” to my soul.
Life-giving activities-(my definition)-the things, or activities that feed my spirit and soul, the things that I do that make me smile and relax, the things that give me peace. The things that I do that I get lost in. The things that I do where I can hear God’s voice, loud and clear! The two things that are the most life-giving to me at this point in my life are blogging and creating tangible art (i.e.-painting).
So back to my story, I realized that I needed to make some changes. The only way that I knew to make changes were to start cutting non-life-giving activities out of my life.
Honestly, I was ready to throw in the towel…because of my dilemma, I was ready to break a 2 year commitment that I had made and signed. Why? Because it had been my mode operandi all of my life…when things got too hard to handle, I turned in the opposite direction and walked away, making sure to burn my bridge behind me so that I would never have to face the people I had let down again, while justifying my actions to myself.
Thank God, that His faithfulness has brought me so far, He has brought me over a hurdle in the great race of life. Instead of renting a U-haul and pulling it up to my back door in the middle of the night, loading up and disappearing forever, I started talking. I started telling some people who I trusted what I was experiencing and what I thought that the solution should be. They disagreed with me and helped me come up with a better solution.
Now, I am happier and my life is easier. Instead of doing the work of 1 ½ people every week, not having a weekend and feeling unappreciated and a little taken advantage of, I am feeling appreciated and rested by the end of every weekend as well as recharged and ready to take on whatever is in front of me. I am now able to do the work of 1 person in 1 week and take my weekends so that I can be at my very best when the new week begins…
I have gotten to a place where I see life as just being too short to waste whatever amounts of precious time the God has given me on this earth doing certain things that are sucking the life out of me.
Stress is not something that I handle very well, at all! And I don’t think I would have recognized that I needed to make some changes if I had not been through the incredible growth that I have experienced over the last few years!
My life and the maintaining of the giftings that God has given to me are too important to Him and me for me to neglect anymore. I went for many years, pushing them down, saying that I would do them someday and that “someday” never seemed to get here.
What is the moral of this story? Don’t make tough decisions on your own! Talk to people you trust and who are likeminded, don’t internalize, work through it, sometimes the solutions are very obvious. Don’t allow the “sin” of pride to be your ally. Be transparent, admit your weaknesses and frustrations. If you’re ready to make a pretty radical decision that could rock someone else’s world anyway, open up, talk about it before you do!
Love and blessings to you!